Back to the Books!

Today (Sept. 7th) was the first day of the second-to-last semester of my life. How's that for dramatic?! And I should be in bed right now. Go figure.

This semester I have all four classes on one day, so it's a long one, but I think I'm going to like my schedule. I go to school once a week! It's pretty great. I just need to make sure I stay on top of all my reading for homework and such. I think I'm going to like all my professors pretty well, and I know at least two people in each class from last year, so that's nice. I tried a new thing this semester and rented my books from the NYU Bookstore, rather than buy them. Some may think, "why rent when you can own?!" and I say, "I saved over $200 doing it that way and most of those books I will NEVER USE AGAIN", so I don't mind at all that I have to send them back when I'm done. You may think as a grad student I'd want to keep all of my books, like they may be useful one day. But don't fret, I'm keeping the ones I think I'll need/use in my future social work practice. I'm not that desperate for cash. Just a little.

On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays I will be working at my internship, which I'm really excited about. I'll be working at an adoption agency that will go unnamed here, for confidentiality purposes. I think I'm really going to like it and do well there. I start there next week. The powers that be at NYU give us a week to sink into our school work before they plunge us into the depths of social work practice in action. But I'm ready! I can take it.

Nanny By Day, Genius By Semester. Ha.

I started babysitting last week, and it initially was going to be once a week for 8 weeks. But the two kids took to me so well, the mom asked me to come two additional days (though she only needs me half the time on those days). Today is my first day alone with them, for a full 9 hours, too. They're adorable children and really well behaved. The girl is 3 and the boy is 15 months. I would post pictures, but that is probably not a good idea without the mom's permission. You'll just have to take my word for it. They are adorable. Both have dark, curly mop tops, big, dark brown eyes and are very sweet. I must say, it's strange being around kids again. It seriously feels like ages since I've been around any. I get to play "mom" for the summer, and I'm totally ok with that. Maybe it will cure me of my maternal cravings. Below is a photo I took today during the kids' nap walk. I walk them in the stroller and they fall asleep. And I get to look out at the water and the Statue of Liberty. That's what is in the distance, behind the water taxi. Not too shabby.

On a more scholarly note, I received my grades for this semester. I can't believe my own two eyes, but the computer says it all. As all across the board! Seriously. Maybe grad school isn't as hard as undergrad, or maybe it has to do with the field I'm actually interested in that's doing it. Whatever it is, I'm just glad I'm doing something right. And I was totally kidding in the title. I am no genius. Just a girl with a big heart and more than decent writing skills.

Oh Boy

Ok, so I am finding it extremely difficult to concentrate on the last four week of this semester. First, the weather has turned!!! It is Spring, officially. I had to take my cardigan off while walking home tonight because I actually felt warm. Incredible. It makes me just want to be outside all the time.

Second, I don't want to face my final assignments; one 15-page paper, one 10-page paper, and another 10-page paper, plus studying for an multiple choice exam...all due in about 4 weeks. Yikes. Let's just say, I'm not promising all As this time around. I never promised those in the first place, but yeah, I'm totally OK with Bs. And third, there's just a lot goin' on around here. It's been three full months now that I have lived in my apartment in Manhattan. I think it's safe to say I feel settled in and am starting to really make friends and get to know people and be familiar to people. So, that's nice.

This past weekend was General Conference for the church and I watched all four sessions at the church. I really think I got a whole lot more out of it, because I was at the church, dressed up, sitting up, and watching a big screen. All these factors contributed to an inspiring weekend. In between sessions on Saturday I joined a small group of people in Central Park for a picnic. How's that for a New York moment?! I still sometimes can't believe I live here.

A few favorite notes from Conference:

-It is possible to feel bathed in help, even in turbulent times.

-There are those who have imagined a Jesus who wants people to work for social justice, but who makes no demands upon their personal life and behavior.

-There is no greater good than motherhood.

A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall

**WARNING** This post has a negative/complaining tone**

I'm not sure why that Bob Dylan tune just popped into my head when it came to today's title, except that a I feel like a hard rain is falling on me...again. Two weeks into school and I'm already feeling those familiar feelings of doubt, feelings of being overwhelmed and under qualified, feelings of fear that I made a wrong choice, feelings of __________ (fill in the blank with any negative emotion). The vacation is, indeed, over!

Back to life...back to reality. And I don't really like reality right now.

I'm especially over my internship. When I do see my client and get that hands-on experience, I feel like I'm a babysitter, and when I'm not babysitting, I sit around and do nothing. I've just got to tell myself, "only three more months!" Wow. Only three more months!! When I say it like that, it actually sounds short. I know it will go by quickly, so yeah. I should tell myself to shut up, get over it and move forward. I gotta make the most of what's been given to me, right?! Right!

I also should really start writing in a personal journal. It seriously opens up my thoughts and provides me therapy. I told that to my client today to encourage him to do the same. I guess I better get to it, lest I become (or remain) a hypocrite.

I Cannot Tell a Lie

I'm drained. Last week was tough. My classes are all about self-awareness and identities and judgments and racism and social injustice, etc, etc. I know, I better get used to it, right? I know I didn't choose an easy/simple field of study. Social work is hard. Working with humans and their troubles is hard. I knew this. I am just finally here now, and it's a lot to take in. But, I'll be okay. (how I felt at the end of last week)

I should be starting my internship tomorrow, but my school was last minute in telling me where my placement is, so I haven't been able to meet with my supervisor yet. At least I do know where I will be working, though. It's with an agency that has been around since the late 1890s, literally. It's called SCO Family of Services (www.sco.org), and I will be helping with "blended child case management", which means I will be working on child cases. But since I haven't met with my supervisor yet, I don't know exactly what type of cases they will be. It can be anything from abuse/neglect to poverty, to foster care, etc. Whatever it is, it will be challenging and probably heart-wrenching at times, but rewarding and life-changing. Sure, I'm nervous. That's a given. But, then this comes to mind......and I feel better, because I know it's true. Last week was a lot of me digesting the fact that I very much stand alone or apart from the rest of my classmates and associates at this school and elsewhere, due to my religious beliefs. Once again, this is something I was not naive about in moving to New York and attending NYU. I guess it had just been a long while since it has set me apart so blatantly. Then add race into the mix. One of my text books is called Racism in the United States, and the readings I had to do last week talked a lot about the white race being "privileged" and having to "unlearn racism". Both of these phrases didn't sit very well with me. I have never thought of myself as privileged and definitely not the kind of person needing to unlearn racism. I got to write my feelings about it in what my professor calls a "reflection paper," which is a great learning tool. She doesn't grade them, but just wants us to digest what we're learning by writing our thoughts and feelings about what we read out on paper. I can already tell that this class will be the one I get the most from.

Almost Went to School in My Underwear...or Like Unto It

Today was my first day of graduate school. Back in school again, and it feels good, oddly enough. Familiar. I was a student for a good chunk of time, off and on, during my undergrad work. Three years off and back at it again! Not too shabby.

My worst nightmare came true this morning, but actually it was ten times worse! First, I got up at 6:30 am instead of 6! Thank goodness my trusty new alarm clock persisted a half an hour past set-off time. Zero points for me. 100 points to the snooze button. I made it to the first train right on time, it was beautiful. And I was proud! Then, it came time to transfer to the next train that lets me off really close to school. I went up some stairs, and then down some stairs, following the signs to the "right" train. I couldn't believe my luck! The train was pulling up for pick up right at the moment I was arriving at the platform! I got cocky and thought, well, I'll be getting to school 15 minutes early at this rate!

Yes, I WOULD have, had I not stepped into the train of the same color scheme, but wrong letter!!!!! Not only was it going in the complete OPPOSITE direction that I needed to go (aka: Brooklyn, where I just came from), but it was an "express" train, which meant it wasn't going to stop til it CROSSED THE WATER at the next express stop. This may not make much sense to those who have never experienced the subway system. Well, just know that when you take it to/from Brooklyn, you cross over water on the bridge, and that takes a just a WEE BIT longer than the time it takes between each stop, plus this was an "express", meaning it had even less stops in between, prolonging the time you're stuck on the train. ANYWAY, I barely made it to class on time. I had to hop off, once we finally stopped back in Brooklyn, and find the next train going back.When I got off at my stop near NYU, I jogged/ran three or four blocks to my building, as to not be any later than I had to be. Sure enough, when I looked up at the clock, once I took my seat, it said 8:02. With no food in my system, nor liquid, and breaking a sweat, I thought I may vomit at one point. But I held it together till we had a break and planned on going across the street to grab a bagel. To my pleasant surprise, the school was providing FREE bagels with delicious cream cheeses in the lobby. So despite my terrible start to my new school year, I wasn't that late, and I didn't have to pay for breakfast.Clyde says hello! He's kinda camouflaged with my pants, but that's him perched on my butt. Ha.

Already Slacking

Yep. Last week picked up a bit. I had grad student orientation, among other functions relating to school, so my frequent blogging slowed down. And school actually begins THIS week, so I imagine my posts will remain sparse. But! I'll try to keep it up, at least weekly.

Orientation was really good. It relieved quite a bit of stress, especially after talking to 2nd-year students, and also when the faculty told us not to panic if we still haven't heard where our field practice is going to be (that includes me). As spontaneous as I can sometimes be in my life and what I do in it, I like to know what's coming. And right now, as far as my internship goes, or in other words, where I will be spending 21 hours a week each week, gaining hands-on experience in working with the human population in some form of social need, I don't have a clue. Now THAT is nerve-racking...just a little bit.

To relieve my nerves somewhat, I and two friends took the subway down south to Coney Island. It was a perfect day to lay on the warm sand and bask in the sun. That was my first visit to the infamous permanent carnival/beach combo, and it was exactly what I expected; plenty of sand, a view of my friend the ocean, crowds of people, a big boardwalk, disgusting bathrooms, and carnival rides and games. Oh, and the famous Nathan's hot dogs, which I almost ate, but decided maybe next time (and there will be a next time. I totally forgot my camera).I definitely needed some R&R. My body is feeling the transition to this daily grind of the lots of walking routine I now experience. Carrying my backpack, laptop and all, is going to really do a number on my neck, shoulders and back. Massages weekly??? If only.
In closing, I slept on my hair wet last night. I never know what to expect in the morning when I do this. Today was a complete success. I just added a little bit of hair product and bam! Hair was done. Can that happen every time I sleep on wet hair, please? Perhaps I will try it again.